My alarm goes off at 5:30. 5:40. And 5:50. I roll out of bed at 5:55.
I shower. Ponder on when I last washed my hair or shaved my legs. Decide to forego both.
Shower off, bath on. Pour in some bubbles.
Fling open the teen’s bedroom door and shout out the time. Fling open the boy’s bedroom door, and since time means nothing to a 6 year old, shout “Hop in the bath!” …
My oldest child packed up her room three Sundays ago. As we hauled boxes of clothes and shoes and carefully rolled-up classic rock posters to her car, my heart sunk. I couldn’t believe my girl was leaving for college, and by this time the following week, she’d be calling a dorm room her new home. But the worst part was knowing I wouldn’t be there to help her unpack, organizing her Goodwill duds and 50 pairs of shoes inside a tiny closet, and deciding on which wall Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd should be hung.
Her dad and stepmom, on…
So, I hear you’ve been feeling a bit down lately. Stressed, underappreciated. I get it. Don’t feel too bad about yourself, we’ve all been there. Heed my advice: Don’t beat yourself up too much. You are much more than you give yourself credit for.
Career-wise, you bust your ass. I will say that you’re lucky you work from home because it’s a known fact that lately, you hate getting dressed or fixing your hair. But even in yoga pants and unkempt frizziness, you get it done. You earned both your annual raise and your annual bonus this year…
As any parent will tell you, kids ask a bunch of questions.
Why is the sky blue?
Why is pee yellow?
Why does my nose have boogers?
Between Google and Alexa, I usually get the info I need, and then we go about our day.
But as any parent will also tell you, some questions are a bit more complicated to answer.
For those of you whose eyes have widened to the size of saucers after being hit blindsided by an off-the-wall kid question, I’ve compiled a list of canned responses that you will most likely never use. …
You know how certain people just make you feel uncomfortable? Not in a freaked-out, I-think-this-person-might-be-a-mass-murderer kind of way, but in the sense that you’re not sure how to relax and just be in their presence? Maybe it’s that coworker who stares at you silently and expressionless just a bit too long after you’ve finished a sentence, making you feel they’re secretly judging you. Or that acquaintance whose personality doesn’t quite mesh with yours, like the loudmouth to your introvert, who’s so unpredictable that you fear what may come out of their mouth next.
I t’s the first day of my…
My husband and I started dating in 2012. With him being 11 years younger, I was apprehensive about A LOT of things during those first few months of courtship.
Will he think I’m as cool as his younger ex-girlfriends? I mean, one of them sang lead vocals in a band. Like, a real one that actually toured and was mentioned in Rolling Stone magazine.
Will people see us together in public and think he’s my little brother?
Will he be freaked out when we have sex by this weird episiotomy scar that is basically like a permanent hemorrhoid?
I’m far from being the perfect mom. Truth be told, I’ve been sucking tremendously at my role lately. I spend entirely too many late nights in front of my laptop — wrapping up work that didn’t get finished during the day — and not enough time investing in what really matters.
Time that should be spent building Lego creations with my Kindergartner. Having conversations with my Senior about her college plans. Taking a deep dive into why my 14-year-old is so full of angst and hostility.
But at the very least, I make sure they know they’re loved. …
I’ve never possessed any culinary skill. I’m fairly proficient in making spaghetti and frozen pizzas, and I do bake one mean spinach lasagna. But that’s basically where my cooking talents end. Needless to say, my contribution at holiday meals is a store-bought pie.
Okay, I’m kidding. I usually arrive late and empty-handed.
My mom once confessed that — while we were growing up — instead of inviting her three daughters into the kitchen while she cooked, she basically told us to stay the hell away. Maybe not in those exact words, but it was implied.
The kitchens in my past…
Hey, Rachel...where have you been?
Hey, striped towel. What’s up?
Not much. The gang and I have just been chillin’ in a hamper for two weeks. Did you forget about us?
Ooh, yikes. Honestly, yeah, I did. I’m sorry, but ever since moving into a house where the laundry room is on the second floor, I haven’t given you the attention you deserve. I’m basically only upstairs to sleep.
Plus, you’re in the laundry room. I rarely ever walk down that hallway. And it doesn’t help that the girls leave sopping wet washcloths piled in the bathtub, and each use…
My husband is a supervisor at an automotive manufacturing plant in our hometown.
For two weeks, he’s helping out at a short-staffed sister plant, two hours from home. His company put him up in a hotel, so he asked for me and our son to come stay a few nights over this past weekend. We obliged.
I love vacations. Even if it’s just for the weekend.
Weekend getaways are the absolute best.
Between 2013 and 2019 — before COVID and other life events hit — our family took annual summer vacations. I’m talking, the whole damn family. …